Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

I had the strangest dream last night. Actually, it was probably more of a nightmare. Anyway, I ended up back in rehab again in it. I also had three warrants out for my arrest. All of my roommates and home group members were there too, though I don’t think they were admitted. I was in detox for my entire stay. There was a girl named Viorella there, and she was passing me drugs while I was there. And two guys and another girl came in, and we went to the bar instead of meetings like we had signed out to go to. Then Nick showed up at the mall. (Where the fuck did the mall come from???) And he was helping me run from the cops. Literally. I ended up knocking down a pregnant lady and slid down 327 steps trying to get away. And then I was back in rehab, like nothing happened.

More than anything, I woke up terrified I was back in rehab. I could deal with the rest of the stuff that went on. But going back just isn’t in my plans. And that would mean I had gotten kicked out of my house. Oh yeah, and I’ve got a running list of people ready and willing to kick my ass if I go back out again. So yeah. But the thing is, if I do go back out, this is the reality of what my life could turn into. IF I make it back. And, just for today, I don’t want that. “Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs.”